Almost there but not quite

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Its may. This means it’s almost mid year. Cant remember what I set out to accomplish at the begin of the year but I’m  sure I can remind myself by going back a couple of blog post(i know shame on me, I’ve posted less than two bog posts since the beginning of 2013, I swear I have a legit reason). Seems as though the year flew by and left me behind, what a shame. Well, last year was quite the year for me, it was a year of lots of questioning, partying, and hopefully growing up too. Anyway in the midst of all that I made a decision, not sure if its right or wrong but whatever, im loving it so far and that’s all that matters. Here goes the big decision *drum roll* I joined the US army. This is big for me considering that the army or even the military was never on my mind, but I did it anyway. Have quite a few reasons as to why I joined (I’d have to tell you my life story in order to reveal the reason as to why I joined, which is not going to happen now but stick around long enough and maybe you’ll find out). So that’s what ive been doing in 2013( technically the last three months because I spent most of january in a random stranger’s porcelain throne or passed out someplace that i probably will never recall). Went to army basic training, quite the experience (I may write about it, just to relive the experience). As you can imagine its been a long three months, and while I feel as though I accomplished nothing of grave importance, I have great experiences to be thankful for. Btw, I think I finally figured out my quarter life  crisis(I know it took me joining the military to do so, but whatever, its done so the means doesn’t matter). Figuring my quarter life crisis  took off a load that I’d been carrying on for a while. Not sure where I was going with this but here’s what I’m most excited about at the moment; I’m ready to get back into wearing civilian clothes(you have no idea how exciting this is, once you live in camo and army outfits for three months, which btw the clothes are not very fashionable, then you’ll understand my pain). Living in an army base is like going to a candy store, so many guys to choose from, lots of variety and most of them are in great shape, I definitely have a sweet tooth ;). I’m obviously excited to serve the great people of America and have fun while doing so. Well for now I have to get back to my busy life(I never thought I’d ever say this but I don’t think there’s enough hours in a day).

The perfect hookup or whatever

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Hookups have been on my mind for the past few days. Not necessarily hooking up, rather the art of executing a perfect hookup. With my lack of adequate experience I decided to try this out and see how it works out. Well, this is what came out of my experiment;

1. Hookup with randoms, this is easier and encourages the art of spontaneity, which is always great

2. Always be drunk, or highly intoxicated, makes everything better(and is great for your conscience as well), and if it goes down south its easier to throw the deuces up and walk away

3. Hookup at his place and have a reliable mode of transportation

4. The less the conversation the better, you’re trying to hookup here not find a soul mate

5. Keep the touching and intimate stuff to a minimum, get down to business as soon as possible

6. Make sure your hookup is attractive and preferably not smart, keep it shallow and simple

7. When having sex, keep in mind it’s all about you, be satisfied and make your night great and worth while, after all that’s the goal right

8. If it doesn’t feel right always count on NO, NO is the go-to word, feel free to use it

9. Leave as soon as possible, well after the sex of course

10. No cuddles or anything intimate after sex

11. Dont exchange contacts, goal is to not be in contact with the person, unless of course the sex was mind-blowing

12. PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION, this isn’t knocked up so you’re probably not going to have a happy ending if protection is not properly utilized

13. This is the time to try out all your kinky sexual ideas/tendencies, it’s a judgement free zone

14. Oh yeah and don’t forget to have fun, that’s the point right?

For a sapiosexual individual with mild control issues, this obviously could never work for me or at least couldn’t be executed successfully, but I hope someone makes use of this when need arises.

hookup appreciation

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It’s not always about the sex, but rather about having a good time(at least that’s what I say to justify random hookups, YOLO is also applicable in this situation). This doesn’t mean that I regularly participate in such activity. Regardless of what I think and do, hookups are quite common, almost a way of life especially for the average college student. My point of writing this? I guess I just wanted to express my appreciation to society for condoning such activities. Hookups fill a need and help prevent me from possible heart-break and emotional attachment, which are two things I avoid at all cost(at least till I decide on growing up and commiting to a man or a relationship, which that in itself is a scary thought).

Resolution, Or Whatnot…..

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I know I said I wouldn’t do resolutions this year but for a mildly OCD individual suffering from control issues, this is too hard  not to do. I think I’ll stick to my word, I wont do resolutions rather bucket list or goals (whichever floats your boat).  Lets just get right into this, this year I’m going to aim higher, I’m going to lose 15 pounds of fat(yeah I had to be that specific). Some people may think that’s a bit much considering that I’m not overweight but I feel as though I’d be  better individual if I was 15 pounds lighter; I’d be a better dancer, study better, pray more, meditate regularly, run faster and so much more. I’ll be equipped to take over the world once I lose 15 pounds. Well I plan on releasing 10 pounds within the next four months (I’m not in a rush to do this) then 5 pounds there after and eventually gain back the 5 lbs during a vacation or holidays so that next year I may have a weight loss goal. I know this is going to happen because it never fails, I gain weight, complain about it, lose it then start the cycle all over (I have three different sizes of pants just to accommodate my weighty issues). I think I was meant to be a pescatarian, I’ll transition sometime during the year and see how I like it. Meat no longer tickles my fancy so I figured I can do without it. I’ll see how this works out, maybe I’ll even feel better about myself for saving a chickens life that I would have otherwise devoured. I’ve been debating on getting a belly  button piercing for the last three years. I know this is not a big deal but still havent figured out why I never got it, this time I’m going to commit to this and make it happen. I want a tattoo but I’m a bit skeptical about this, first my body is constantly changing and what looks good on me may not be the same tomorrow, second I don’t know what to get, I have nothing meaningful to tattoo and lastly I havent made up my mind on what part of my body is worthy enough of a tattoo, maybe if I solve all these issues then I’ll get one. I’m a bit perverse so I want to go to a nude beach, perharps I’ll like it and eventually frequent such or end up a naturist. I’ve always been negative about sports, I wanna change that. Only way to do that is I partake in a sporting activity. I want to play a sport, something that doesn’t involve me sweating, running, a sport that I didn’t play in phys ed (worst class ever, I used to be last person to get picked on a team, after the chubby kids, this should help you gauge my sportsmanship), or any sport that they show on tv. I know that limits my options but I’ll find something, perhaps twerking. I’d like to travel to at least five different states this year, I’d say a different country but that’s pushing it. I wanna get closer to God, how I’m going to accomplish this I don’t exactly know but I’ll somehow manage to make it happen. I want to write more often and of course that goes hand in hand with reading. I’m a believer in the ten thousand hour theory by Malcolm Gladwell so I’m going to begin investing my 10,000 hours to a worthy cause, in the hope of a rewarding ROI. I should probably learn something about politics and increase my financial knowledge. Most importantly I hope to figure out my quarter life crisis.

My Relationship…Its Complicated

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He told me I’m the last voice he wants to hear before he goes to bed (call me a skeptic but I don’t believe this). This led me to thinking about the last thing I like to do before I go to bed, which turned out to be checking my twitter time line. I know this sounds vain but if you appreciate twitter as much as I do then you would understand. Personally I think twitter has changed my life in so many ways, and that’s why I love it so much (I don’t think love is the word to describe my relationship with twitter, addiction would be better). It’s through twitter that I receive all the news about whats going on in the world. Twitter was my live update during the election, and trust me it kept me on edge. Thanks to twitter I didn’t have to watch the debate since I was constantly updated on what was going on. Call me uninformed but prior to twitter I had no clue as to who Frank Ocean was, but I had no choice but to be acquainted with him after his coming out of the closet. I happen to think he’s a great artist, I have two of his songs on my playlist which is pretty grand for me since I’m not much of a music enthusiast. Twitter has also helped me better connect with my friends, like me most of my friends appreciate twitter hence constantly posting and updating (s/o to all my friends who ignore my texts then post on twitter like there’s no tomorrow, because I’ll remember that next time you text me). As much I love twitter, I also hate it. Since everyone in my timeline thinks they are an awesome narrator, they always write every detail of tv shows and movies, which in turn ruins my excitement for watching the shows only because I’m always last on watching everything (on a brighter note, this helps because I don’t watch as much tv as I used to). For some odd reason everyone feels the need to post about how great their weekend is and how much fun they are having, well umm this really helps shed light on just how much fun I have(well compared to my timeline I have no fun at all in my life). Now I understand why people could develop depression from social media, talk about the pressure of being cool and drinking your whole weekend away(which btw I’m not against), its like high school all over again. I think my IQ has increased since I started using twitter, you can credit this to google facts and all the random pages that tweet all the facts (I don’t think all the facts are true, some of them sound a bit questionable, this just makes me question everything I’ve ever learned in school). My most favorite thing about twitter are the positive tweets (to all the tweeters who’ve dedicated their tweets to positive and uplifting tweets, you make my life so much better, you guys are like my personal Oprah) they make life so much better. Well, this must be  among the most important relationships I have right now, because while twitter may sometime disappoint, it always has a way of redeeming itself and making everything so much better (men should take note from twitter, they would learn a thing or two).

Random Thoughts

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Its snowing. 10th December and today is the first day snow is falling. I don’t know why that piece of information was relevant but whatever, I wrote it anyway. I’ve been thinking all day, about nothing specific but mostly about everything. I’ve thought about the past year and the fact that I feel as though I’ve accomplished nothing and yet have experienced lots of things. Maybe I should blame the fact that I didn’t accomplished much on my not writing down my resolutions. I think I had new years resolutions, I just never wrote them down. maybe I’ll do better this year and write down my resolutions. But come to think of it, I don’t have specific things that I want to accomplish. I mean I want to get better and grow as a person but I don’t have specific goals such as travel to Jamaica, lose 10 pounds(btw, I always have a goal of losing 10 ponds. doesn’t matter how I look or feel I just do) or get a master’s degree or anything of the sort. I think not having set goals worked to my favor this time around since I got to experience and do things that I wouldn’t normally do. Thing is I’m a firm believer in following the law and abiding by rules and regulation, this also applies to the rules I use to govern me. When I write down goals they become rules that govern me, I have to live by them at all times. Not having set goals helped me color outside the lines which turned out to be quite interesting. While I havent accomplished anything major i stepped out my comfort zone and experienced a few things, I’ll try summing them all up in a nutshell; I had the most jobs, all interesting jobs this year than I ever have had in my life, my sexual encounters were out of the box as well, familiarized myself with certain ‘body/mind simulators’, met very diverse and interesting people, gained weight(which I’m going to get rid off, yeah im working on losing 10lbs), started running (this is big for me since I don’t run and hate everything that has to do with running), I chose to become a soldier, thought of becoming a pescetarian (the thought counts too), changed my major in school again(my major is finding an actual major), became a shopaholic (devastating to my financial well-being), I also realised that I just may have some fashion sense, became an informed alcoholic (prior to this I was a non-informed alcoholic), lost and gained friends (this is not news though, this happens quite often), I cook (its twisted but cooking is not hell for me anymore, I actually enjoy cooking for people, I know the world must be coming to an end) and most important I discovered that I enjoy writing. I’m not sure where I was going with this but I think that’ll be it for now.