What I want, What I have

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Its been a while since I wrote anything on here. Shame on me. In my head I always have this grand plan as to how I’m gonna start writing and keep at it on a regular basis, just how I always plan on going to the gym and becoming a health-nut but this is all yet to happen. I always have great ideas in my head, all I gotta do is make them a reality. 

I really have nothing specific to write about, I just want to write. Figured I should just write, since they say a bad workout is the one you never did so same should apply to writing, if that makes any sense. Seems like most of the time i write, it has something to do with me reminiscing about the past or looking forward to the future. I find this a bit pathetic since I credit myself to always being about Carpe Diem. 

I’ve recently been toying around with the idea of being in a relationship. This is weird since I’ve always been anti-relationship. I’m almost proud of myself because this could mean that perhaps I’m growing up (the subject of my growing up is debatable). This obviously led me to thinking about my past relationships, not necessarily the relationships I had or didn’t have but everything including what was exampled to me in my life. Looking at this made me realize what I’ve seen and experienced is definitely not what I’d like to experience anymore. I need to learn different and do different. All my so called not-relationships have been different. I’ve learned over time and experience to get better and be better. Its been a learning experienced and I’ve learned the hard way and made some absolutely stupid mistakes. I’m almost sure that I’ll keep on making more mistakes, all I want is to not make life altering mistakes and get better from the ones I make in order to do different. I’d like to think I get wiser with time but I’m not sure how true this is, only time could tell. I  surely do hope that with time I grow into the woman I want to be, whoever that is.

I’m just a simple person. I want to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. I want to experience what life has to offer and have the best of it. I’m pretty sure thats what everyone says but I’m saying it as well. I just want to be me. I want to love and live life. I want to give and receive love. I want to experience the simple pleasures of life. I want to be happy. I want to do what makes me happy. I want to make the world a happier place. 

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