So I recently did a guest post on a blog. The post was about my twenty-something life. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to write but when i started writing, words just kept flowing and here’s the result
Just like every teenager, I was excited to ditch my teenage hood and welcome my twenties. I had the perfect picture as to how my life was going to shape out, but that’s not how everything turned out. Well technically my twenty something experience begun after high school, I say this because this is when my quarter life crisis begun. Just like everyone else that I knew that had just graduated high school in the spring, we were all excited to move on to college. College meant finally moving out of your parents house and moving to a place where it would take your parents at least two days worth of travel to visit.
My last year of year of high school, I was in a serious relationship, my last serious relationship to this date. Back then I was dating just because I could. Dating for me was like a fashion trend. I did it simply because everyone else did it. The summer between college and high school is when everyone was excited about college, preparing for the big move and enjoying the last summer before everything changes, at least that’s what we thought. While everyone was busy planning their life I was busy trying to keep a relationship (how stupid was I). Unfortunately this is what I did all summer till fall rolled around and reality hit me. It was August and I hadn’t enrolled in classes yet. My plan was to major in business, since at the time I was convinced that I would be a very successful businesswoman. I had been accepted to college but hadn’t yet enrolled in classes. This is when I realized that I had my priorities all messed up and decided to end the relationship. I was quite upset at myself for not having everything ready and for entertaining a derailing relationship for the better part of high school. Since it was already too late for me to join school for the fall semester I decided to work then start school following semester.
Did I mention all the while I was still living with my parents? Well my mom being the traditional Kenyan mother, she was convinced that me studying business was setting myself up for failure. She had this twisted belief that if I majored in business I would somehow end up being a manager at McDonalds for the rest of my life (btw I worked at McDonalds two years during high school). She took it upon herself to convince me to change my major and study nursing since that was a sure way to getting rich someday while still maintaining a flashy lifestyle. Being the respectful daughter that I was I decided to oblige and study nursing. I changed schools from the uni I was previously supposed to attend to a community college (two year college). According to my mothers plan it was best that I receive a 2-year nursing degree, this way I could begin working immediately, be able to support myself while working on my bachelors degree then thereafter my masters degree. Since I was going to major in nursing I suppose I might as well as do it her way. I took nursing classes for a year. I hated all the classes. The only class I enjoyed was English class. I despised going to community college. I hated everything about it. In my opinion community college is an extension of high school, the classes did not challenge me, which led me to skip any class I didn’t need to attend, so I only went to mandatory classes or during exam days. After going to community college for a year I decided that I couldn’t do it anymore. My heart wasn’t in nursing and I would be damned if I had to set foot in another community college. I decided I’d change my major to something I was passionate about, something I would do and wouldn’t mind if I got paid or not. I would change schools and go to a school in a different city from my parent’s house in order to concentrate in what I wanted to do and accomplish. Seeing that I had a plan you’d think it would be an easy transition. I began researching schools and what they had to offer. I was extremely confused as to what major would equate to my passion. That was the challenge; I didn’t know my passion. At this point I believed the only way I could be happy is to do something that makes me happy, so I refused to settle for just any major in school. I would have enrolled as an undecided major but my decision to move to a school in a different city would have more than likely caused me to use student loans to pay for school. I did not want to use student loans while being undecided and unsure, didn’t think that was a smart move.
Everything from completing high school to changing my major and now being undecided had happened in the course of two years. I was now 20 and confused about life. I decided to not worry and apply for schools, have fun for the summer and maybe I’ll figure it out before the fall comes through. I quit my job (I was tired of the same ol stuff and wanted to experience something new). I’d been working the same job for the last two years, that’s since end of high school and prior to that I’d worked at McDonalds while in high school.
Between school and work, I’d never really had time to hang out or do things outside of my norm. This summer was different; I had no school or work. This was party time for me. I travelled back and forth between home and different party scenes, mostly college towns where they partied any waking day, partying all week and weekend. I enjoyed this, it was different and fun while it lasted. I experienced everything from house parties that led into orgies, to clubbing, bar hopping, to chill smoke sessions. I also met so many different people from club promoters, to djs, to regular hardworking students who inspired me, to dealers who to my suprise happened to be really smart. I experienced lots of stuff that I would otherwise have not experienced if I hadn’t quit my job and lived in the moment. This is also when I dated some of the best people I’ve dated so far. They were all so different yet great individuals who I learned so much from.
Every good thing comes to an end. Fall came by faster than expected. Yet again I was undecided as to what I wanted to major in. The summer was fun but I knew I couldn’t lead that life for too long. By this time I was broke and my mother suspected that I either had a sugar daddy or was a prostitute, she couldn’t figure out how I went all summer without a job. Lemmie just say I had funds saved up from previous work and maxed out credit cards. Soon as I started looking for work, I managed to score a job working at a trendy clothing store. I was excited about this!! I still had school to figure out. With the way things were going I knew I wasn’t going to make it in time for fall semester. I liked fashion, beauty, writing and religion but I was scared of pursuing neither of those as a career option. Time was flying, everyone who’d graduated high school same year as I was halfway done with college and I was still trying to figure out what to study. I had to do something about this. I had to make a choice that I thought would benefit my life in multiple ways. I once again decided to do something drastic in light of my problem. I joined the US army.
I had multiple reasons for joining the army. I thought that was the best option at the time. Was that the right decision to make? I still don’t have the answer to this question but given the options I had it was the better choice. Well, I went to boot camp and all the required training. Currently I’m still in the army. This is where I am wright now. My twenty-something story is still incomplete since I’m still living it. I’m twenty-one turning twenty-two next month. I still haven’t solved my quarter life crisis but I believe I’m heading the right direction; most importantly I’m having fun in my quest of doing so. I’ve experienced and learned so much about life and about myself through my experience.
Through my journey I’ve learned that you cant plan your perfect life. When I came to this world I did not come with a blue print as to how I’m supposed to live my life. This is my life and I choose how it will turn out. I’ve learned that I’m different and don’t have to succumb to society’s definition of success. Life is an interesting journey, I learn and grow through all the choices and mistakes I make but I have fun while doing so. I’m excited to see what life has to offer and what life has in store for me. I went against the norm and what was expected of me. I choose to color outside the box. Break outside the box and live an unsheltered life. Life has so much to offer. Live life in abundance. Most importantly be happy and live in joy.