Random thoughts

 

tainted

tainted

You know that feeling when you love someone but they just don’t love you back? When u want something but can never seem to get it? When you work so hard at something but never seem to be good enough? It’s a very discouraging feeling. Throws your life off track, makes you want to give up on life, love or your goals. Right now in this moment this is what im experiencing. Not quite sure how to deal. I’m not used to dealing with such types of problems (yeah, I did break my shoulder while patting myself on the back). At least I identified my inadequacy, second step is to solve my problem. Only if I knew where to begin. Its friday, one of my fave days of the week, but I don’t want to do anything simply cuz of the down and under feeling I have. I see why I sometime tend to be stoic. When u care about something, you open opportunities for disappointment. As always I wasnt quite sure where I was going with this but writing makes me a better person, and makes everything better, so I just do it. But I think I learned something from this situation, that’s all that matters. Anyway I’m gonna do different and be better from this, ill try following this list that I came up with;

  • I’m going to be precise about what it is that I want out of every (well almost) situation I encounter
  • Wont settle for less than im worth
  • will have fun and not take things too seriously
  • Laugh  and try to smile more
  • Be more of a go-getter
  • Carpe Diem

Think that’s all I can come up with for now. Seeing that its past mid year, its only fair that I review my new years resolution. Honestly I cant quite remember them. I’ll look them over and se if I was successful at any of it. I’ve been thinking about my online presence and future of my blog (lol), and I want to do something about this. I plan on incorporating my blog into part of my daily life, have some random suggestion. Some ideas include; coming up in August, have a photo challenge, a photo a day, post a random photo about any part of my life. This will be interesting, lets see f I actually get to stick with it. September is my birthday month and I figured I should do something special, a blog a day, that’s the challenge. Write 30 blog posts in the month of september. Not sure if this is feasible but we’ll soon find out. I’ve also been working on a list as well; 23 before 23, more of a bucket list to accomplish within the 365 days that I’ll be 22 before turning 23. We’ll see how this all turns out, hopefully not disappointing. I’m usually in class about 8 hours a day five days a week and when I get bored I think of such stuff, I also write posts that never make it on here (I get lazy too). Hope I’ll be just as proactive about this when I’m done with classes in August, as I am right now.