The perfect hookup or whatever

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Hookups have been on my mind for the past few days. Not necessarily hooking up, rather the art of executing a perfect hookup. With my lack of adequate experience I decided to try this out and see how it works out. Well, this is what came out of my experiment;

1. Hookup with randoms, this is easier and encourages the art of spontaneity, which is always great

2. Always be drunk, or highly intoxicated, makes everything better(and is great for your conscience as well), and if it goes down south its easier to throw the deuces up and walk away

3. Hookup at his place and have a reliable mode of transportation

4. The less the conversation the better, you’re trying to hookup here not find a soul mate

5. Keep the touching and intimate stuff to a minimum, get down to business as soon as possible

6. Make sure your hookup is attractive and preferably not smart, keep it shallow and simple

7. When having sex, keep in mind it’s all about you, be satisfied and make your night great and worth while, after all that’s the goal right

8. If it doesn’t feel right always count on NO, NO is the go-to word, feel free to use it

9. Leave as soon as possible, well after the sex of course

10. No cuddles or anything intimate after sex

11. Dont exchange contacts, goal is to not be in contact with the person, unless of course the sex was mind-blowing

12. PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION, this isn’t knocked up so you’re probably not going to have a happy ending if protection is not properly utilized

13. This is the time to try out all your kinky sexual ideas/tendencies, it’s a judgement free zone

14. Oh yeah and don’t forget to have fun, that’s the point right?

For a sapiosexual individual with mild control issues, this obviously could never work for me or at least couldn’t be executed successfully, but I hope someone makes use of this when need arises.

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