The perfect hookup or whatever

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Hookups have been on my mind for the past few days. Not necessarily hooking up, rather the art of executing a perfect hookup. With my lack of adequate experience I decided to try this out and see how it works out. Well, this is what came out of my experiment;

1. Hookup with randoms, this is easier and encourages the art of spontaneity, which is always great

2. Always be drunk, or highly intoxicated, makes everything better(and is great for your conscience as well), and if it goes down south its easier to throw the deuces up and walk away

3. Hookup at his place and have a reliable mode of transportation

4. The less the conversation the better, you’re trying to hookup here not find a soul mate

5. Keep the touching and intimate stuff to a minimum, get down to business as soon as possible

6. Make sure your hookup is attractive and preferably not smart, keep it shallow and simple

7. When having sex, keep in mind it’s all about you, be satisfied and make your night great and worth while, after all that’s the goal right

8. If it doesn’t feel right always count on NO, NO is the go-to word, feel free to use it

9. Leave as soon as possible, well after the sex of course

10. No cuddles or anything intimate after sex

11. Dont exchange contacts, goal is to not be in contact with the person, unless of course the sex was mind-blowing

12. PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION, this isn’t knocked up so you’re probably not going to have a happy ending if protection is not properly utilized

13. This is the time to try out all your kinky sexual ideas/tendencies, it’s a judgement free zone

14. Oh yeah and don’t forget to have fun, that’s the point right?

For a sapiosexual individual with mild control issues, this obviously could never work for me or at least couldn’t be executed successfully, but I hope someone makes use of this when need arises.

hookup appreciation

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It’s not always about the sex, but rather about having a good time(at least that’s what I say to justify random hookups, YOLO is also applicable in this situation). This doesn’t mean that I regularly participate in such activity. Regardless of what I think and do, hookups are quite common, almost a way of life especially for the average college student. My point of writing this? I guess I just wanted to express my appreciation to society for condoning such activities. Hookups fill a need and help prevent me from possible heart-break and emotional attachment, which are two things I avoid at all cost(at least till I decide on growing up and commiting to a man or a relationship, which that in itself is a scary thought).

Resolution, Or Whatnot…..

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I know I said I wouldn’t do resolutions this year but for a mildly OCD individual suffering from control issues, this is too hard  not to do. I think I’ll stick to my word, I wont do resolutions rather bucket list or goals (whichever floats your boat).  Lets just get right into this, this year I’m going to aim higher, I’m going to lose 15 pounds of fat(yeah I had to be that specific). Some people may think that’s a bit much considering that I’m not overweight but I feel as though I’d be  better individual if I was 15 pounds lighter; I’d be a better dancer, study better, pray more, meditate regularly, run faster and so much more. I’ll be equipped to take over the world once I lose 15 pounds. Well I plan on releasing 10 pounds within the next four months (I’m not in a rush to do this) then 5 pounds there after and eventually gain back the 5 lbs during a vacation or holidays so that next year I may have a weight loss goal. I know this is going to happen because it never fails, I gain weight, complain about it, lose it then start the cycle all over (I have three different sizes of pants just to accommodate my weighty issues). I think I was meant to be a pescatarian, I’ll transition sometime during the year and see how I like it. Meat no longer tickles my fancy so I figured I can do without it. I’ll see how this works out, maybe I’ll even feel better about myself for saving a chickens life that I would have otherwise devoured. I’ve been debating on getting a belly  button piercing for the last three years. I know this is not a big deal but still havent figured out why I never got it, this time I’m going to commit to this and make it happen. I want a tattoo but I’m a bit skeptical about this, first my body is constantly changing and what looks good on me may not be the same tomorrow, second I don’t know what to get, I have nothing meaningful to tattoo and lastly I havent made up my mind on what part of my body is worthy enough of a tattoo, maybe if I solve all these issues then I’ll get one. I’m a bit perverse so I want to go to a nude beach, perharps I’ll like it and eventually frequent such or end up a naturist. I’ve always been negative about sports, I wanna change that. Only way to do that is I partake in a sporting activity. I want to play a sport, something that doesn’t involve me sweating, running, a sport that I didn’t play in phys ed (worst class ever, I used to be last person to get picked on a team, after the chubby kids, this should help you gauge my sportsmanship), or any sport that they show on tv. I know that limits my options but I’ll find something, perhaps twerking. I’d like to travel to at least five different states this year, I’d say a different country but that’s pushing it. I wanna get closer to God, how I’m going to accomplish this I don’t exactly know but I’ll somehow manage to make it happen. I want to write more often and of course that goes hand in hand with reading. I’m a believer in the ten thousand hour theory by Malcolm Gladwell so I’m going to begin investing my 10,000 hours to a worthy cause, in the hope of a rewarding ROI. I should probably learn something about politics and increase my financial knowledge. Most importantly I hope to figure out my quarter life crisis.